Loneliness

 

I don’t believe we were meant to do life alone. We all desire to have close relationships, to feel like we belong, and to be able to confide in others.

Being alone and lonely are not the same. Loneliness can make you feel empty and unwanted, while choosing to be alone can be peaceful and refreshing.

There are different types of loneliness.

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• Maybe you are in a new situation where you have moved and there are no close friends or

family near-by.
• Maybe you have ‘fun’ friends to hang out with, but the relationships are lacking the trustworthiness of being able to build the other up when one of you is down.
• Maybe you have friends that have entered into a new season in their lives and they don’t have the same time for you they used to (marriage, children, job).
• Or maybe you have lost a loved one recently.

Preventing loneliness is not easy. At times it may seem daunting, nerve-racking, and vulnerable. But it will pay off and is worth the risk.

Consider doing community service or another activity you enjoy. These types of situations present great opportunities to meet people and cultivate new relationships.
If you go to church, get involved in one of their connect groups.
You may have to be vulnerable and ask others to out to lunch or dinner, maybe a movie, or an activity.

Don’t expect one person or friend to fulfill all of your needs. I have different friends for different occasions; for example, one of my friends is my ‘movie friend’. I can go with her to any kind of movie together. Another friend is my ‘shopping friend’. We go clothes or craft shopping together. Another friend is my ‘coffee friend’ and we enjoy just going to the coffee shop and catch up on the past month or two.
It is good to have a variety of friends to do different things with.

Getting involved in other people’s lives takes the focus off of your situation.

Loneliness can lead one into unhealthy relationships. Some women seek out a guy to fill that gap of emptiness. Don’t get me wrong, marriage relationships can be very rewarding and fulfilling. However, you also need to be who you are without that person.

Being lonely can make you more negative, critical, and judgmental. Remember to embrace others differences, beliefs, and activities. If you want someone to participate in something fun that you like to do, you need to also in turn do those activities with them that maybe do not seem so fun to you. Relationships are give-and-take. It’s not about what you do together, it’s about being together and connecting with others…and that’s what makes it fun!